I made the mistake of pointing out a spider that was running across the living room floor. Now my cat is obsessed with finding him.

Why is this a problem? Cats love bugs. They hunt them as if they are crack covered with catnip. My cat is particularly obsessed as he’s been trained that after he catches the bug he gets cookies as well. This lead to a completely bug free apartment until now. Somehow this ninja spider has survived long enough to grow into something very tempting to the cat. It has now become his mission to hunt down and eat him as quickly as possible.

Unfortunately I’m about to head to LA for 36 hours. I’m now guaranteed to return to find every pillow on the floor, everything pushed off the table, every shreddable item… shredded… every possible bit of damage caused by a cat is guaranteed. As I type he is now inspecting the blankets (under them).

cat + ninja spider = bad