My friend and co-worker Brian and I think we may secretly be on a Reality TV show… it’s probably only being filmed while we are at work, using hidden cameras.

The plot is probably based on stress. What they are doing is making our working conditions as lame as possible. Whoever quits first will probably forfeit a huge cash prize.

So far here are a few episodes:

Episode 1: Batteries not included
Every engineer has a UPS for his computer. The power goes out and I find out half of the UPS batteries have gone bad. Of those that are still good, half of those have bad electronics. Of those that are still good, half of them don’t have anything plugged into them anyway. ShaC has to figure out what to do while everyone complains.

Episode 2: Garage fire
Fire alarms go off and the building evacuates. When outside, ShaC is told to go back into the building to shutdown the server room. Upon return, everyone is told that the fire is isolated on the 3rd level of the parking garage. Good news is, the sprinklers went off and there aren’t any cars on that floor anyway. Bad news is, there is 1 car.. ShaC’s car… and his sunroof is open.

Episode 3: Is the building REALLY going to fall down?
A mild earthquake strikes. Not one to worry about but we better evacuate anyway. It’s best to not be in the building untill building management has determined that the building is structurally sound and aftershocks are not coming. Everyone leave the building and gather in the courtyard out front. So wait, if the building falls over, we will be standing right next to it… and aren’t aftershocks an issue for days after a quake?!?

Episode 4: You want it do actually DO something?
After hours of trying to figure out why a piece of his project isn’t working, Brian gives up and asks another engineer why it’s not working quite right. He is told that there is a critical piece that is responsible for doing exactly what he needs… Why isn’t it working right? It hasn’t been written yet…

Episode 5: Epilepsy Test Day part I
The local Fire Department schedules fire alarm and smoke detector testing for January 31st… But then shows up on December 31st instead (close enough). The narrowed down the testing window to between 8am and 5pm. YAY so they will only be testing when EVERYONE is at work. Brian is given random epilepsy tests all day long… with random flashing strobe lights and ear piercing screaming sirens. To add to the effect, all UPS alarms will squawk too as the power fluctuates in the building.

Episode 5: Epilepsy Test Day part II
Building maintenance decides to test the smoke detectors in the server room… without telling the IT department (especially not ShaC). By triggering the smoke detector above the server room UPS, all power to the server room is instantly cut, powering off every piece of equipment. When asked what happened they reply, “I don’t know, but it sure got quiet real fast.”

Episode 6: Sauna day
HVAC is shutoff to the entire building… except the server room. This means that it’s entirely possible for you to sit in your cube and work while the still air around you is 85 degrees. You will sweat and you will work and you will like it. In case you decide to leave, be prepared to take the stairs because the elevator is out.