Catalina took me to the Cal vs. USC football game. I think at first she thought I would be bouncing off the walls and filled with joy about going. Eventually I had to break it to her… “Babe.. I am totally happy… even though Cal is probably gonna get their ass handed to them…” Yeah I know, I’m a horrible fan.
Game day comes and we hop on BART. At least 1/3 of the passengers are USC fans. I point out to Catalina that they usually designate the South end of the stadium the visitiors section… that they occasionally will even have to rope off the sections to keep the fans apart… and that I really hate the USC band and am happy to sit as far away from them as possible… That day was proof that God has a sense of humor.. and wanted to mess with me a bit.
So we arrive at the game and are told by the stadium staff that they are enforcing assigned seating… and yes that means we can’t sit in or near the student section… we have to sit in our section, Sec. II. I asked if that was over near the alumni, on the other side… “umm yeah, kinda…”
We trot off towards our seats. As we emerge at Sec. II, I see a sea of red and gold. “Oh crap.. our seats are in the USC fan section!” Then I hear a familiar song from just behind me… “Oh crap… our seats are in the USC fan section… right next to their student section AND THE BAND!”
So at least we were in a tiny little pocket of Cal fans. As the game went on something very strange started to happen, Cal started to win. They slipped up a bit in the 3rd quarter and let USC tie, but only a tie. After sitting there and hearing endless excuses from the USC Alumni, at the end of the 4th Quarter the game was tied. I think my favorite excuse was, “oh we’ve always been a 2nd half team… our team obviously doesn’t want to get too warn out so they are waiting for the 2nd half to run the score up..”
After 2 overtime periods, a couple of fumbles, a blocked kick, and listening to the USC band play Tribute to Troy and Fight On in an endless loop (I swear, it’s the only song they know… it’s boring and its slow…)….. the score was STILL TIED! Going into triple OT I just knew that this was all some sort of cruel joke. A fellow Cal fan sitting near me says, “this is rediculous. I figured by the end of the first quarter it would be a blowout, end of 2nd I would be home, and by this point I’d be drunk off my ass in front of the TV!”
Then something amazing happens. The band seems to be running out of steam and the USC fans aren’t shit talking anymore. On USC’s third OT possession, their kicked heads out to kick a fieldgoal. “Our kicker is AMAZING… He’s gonna go pro. You guys should have never let us get in field goal range!” Wow, the shit talking starts again… this time from a 60 yr old grandma sitting behind me, kneeing me in the back and batting me w/ her pom-pom. Woah but wait… he misses! This game is just plain KILLING ME. This isn’t a football game anymore, it’s an insane japanese game show where we see whose football team will give up first. Now it’s Cal’s turn to answer… oh geez they go for a field goal again. Cal’s kicker doesn’t suck but… well last time they basically forgot to block anyone and ended up with a blocked kick….
But they make it… holy crap wait…. Cal wins?
It takes less than 10 seconds then the Cal student section mobs the field. Trojan fans are pissed. Cal fans are going insane. Then the mob turns towards the USC band. The USC fans suddenly STOP walking down the stairs… I suddenly realize, they think the Cal fans are coming into the stands…. they think this is about to turn into the opening scene from Gangs of New York. Are we the Dead Rabbits or the Native Americans? Wait, it doesn’t matter. I’m standing in the wrong section. In swoops UCPD to break up the action. Too bad they weren’t on their Segways.
Now that they feel safe, the USC alumni begin yelling grumbling.
“This stadium sucks…”
“Whatever… yeah be excited you won… it’ll never happen again…”
“Yeah well we’re ranked #3. Where are you guys?” (worth noting, their loss dropped them to #10)
“F you… you F’in freaks… I want my tax dollars back. I don’t pay for this crap!”
Yes, he said “F” and not “fuck.”
What a great day… and what a great game. My favorite moment is still when Catalina leaned over to me just to ask, “Is their mascot a giant condom?”